Havoc's New Toy
by d-E-a-D-12349876-a-C-c-O-u-N-t
Summary: Havoc gets what Havoc wants. Havoc want a Havoc Heli. What Havoc will Havoc wreak with his new Havoc Heli? Read and find out!
1. Operation: Mustang Meltdown! begins

**_This is my third story, so YAY me! _**

**_Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, though, if I did, Roy and Riza would be together and Jean would have a date. I also do not own the brand of toys known as the Havoc Heli.

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Prologue: As he was watching TV, Jean Havoc saw an interesting ad on the TV. WHY he was watching TV in self-pity, however, was the classic scenario. Havoc got date. Date meets the Colonel. Date runs off with Colonel. Havoc goes to store, comes home, and, in self-pity, eats and cries himself to sleep by means of a gallon of Vanilla ice-cream. However, due to the ad, Havoc got an idea. A good idea. An EVIL idea. For you see, the ad on the television was the brand new, amazingly cheap, Havoc Heli, equipped with mini camera. And so, the story begins...

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Havoc pranced into the office, cardboard box in hand. Fuery, Falman, and Breda looked up from their work with little Qustion marks above their heads.

Havoc ripped open the box, removed the bubble wrap, and removed a toy helicopter. "umm...Lieutenant, what is that?" Fuery asked first.

"Well, this is my new toy," Havoc declared proudly. "But, Jean, you're a GROWN man. I don't think you need a toy helicopter," Falman added.

Jean Scoffed. "It isn't just ANY toy helicopter. It's MY toy helicopter! Besides, it's got a hidden camera. This way, I can finally wreak my revenge on the Col-" "Wreak revenge on who, Havoc?" a dry tone spoke. There, in the doorway, stood the terror, the feared gun-toting First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye.

The room grew chilly as Riza walked into the room. Kain Fuery, the "Oh-So-Brave Master Sergeant, cracked.

"Jean Havoc bought one of those Havoc Heli helicopters with a hidden camera to use against the Colonel as a revenge tactic because the Colonel stole his date again!" he said in one sentence.

Riza raised an eyebrow, then her face grew a wide, cat-like grin. She grabbed the controller from Havoc's hands. "So, Jean, ya want some flying lessons?" she grinned.

Jean spoke in a squeeky voice. "B-but, Lieutenant, I thought you were the Colonel's right hand woman!?" Jean exclaimed.

"I am, but I have my 'debts' to the Colonel. Besides, I love toy copters!" Riza said happily. "Now, boys, here's what we're gonna do..."

"Umm...Lieutenant Hawkeye?" Kain spoke up. "Yes, Master Sergeant?" "May I play with the bubblewrap?"


	2. Operation: Mustang Meltdown! Part One

**_Chappie two_**

I do not own FMA.

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After a week of hard-core, spine-bending, agonizing flight lessons, Jean now had his Ace Pilot license. Granted, this license was just a scrap piece of paper with an "Official Signature", but it passed as official in Riza's book. 

"Hello, everyone, what's with the gathering?" Roy asked as he walked in the office. Everyone stopped what they were doing and hid their revenge tactic behind Riza's desk.

"Jean, should we commence revenge tactic number one?" Riza whispered.

"Of course, Mustang'll flip" was Jean's reply.

**MISSION: MUSTANG MELTDOWN PART ONE**

Riza was first up. "Oh, Jean, you look SO GOOD today!"

"I'm glad you think that, Liutenant, because I think that, too" was Jean's reply. "In fact, you look so good, how 'bout a date tonight, my place, 8:00, I'll pick you up"

"Of course!"

Meanwhile, whilst watching the "spectacle of office romance", Roy just stood there speechless, with the dumbest look on his face. By dumb, he looked as if he had just drank 13 beers the night before, went to bed, came to work with a hangover, and was still suffering its effects.

In short, Roy looked stupid.

Fuery, Falman, and Breda were doing all within their power to keep from roaring with laughter. Seeing their commanding officer reduced to a sniveling puppy-dog within 2 minutes was almost too unbearable.

"Is something the matter, sir?" Riza said in a sickly sweet tone that sent shivers up the Colonel's spine.

"N-No, of course not! I'm just...um...surprised..." Roy said as he walked out of the room, his inner self-esteem smashed beyond recognition.

"So, do you think he's broke yet?" Jean asked.

"No, not yet. His pride is still in tact. Fortunately, that can easily be taken care of..." Riza smiled, her tone still spine-tingling creepy.


	3. Operation: Mustang Meltdown! Part Two

**_3rd Chappie, please review!

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After his little meltdown, Roy sat silently in his office, Riza sitting not too far off. She thought this to be the opportune moment to unleash **PHASE TWO OF OPERATION: MUSTANG MELTDOWN**.

"Colonel, sir, you do know that I was only playing Havoc" Riza spoke finally.

"Excuse me, Lieutenant?" Roy ask confusedly.

"I mean..." she said as she inched towards his desk. "It's always been you I loved..."

He blushed as she crept onto his lap and...

**3 HOURS LATER**

Roy slept nude in his chair while Riza snuck out of the office.

Perched not too far from his desk, on his "ever-so-full" filing cabinet, was the Havoc-Heli, its camera film filled to the brim with damning evidence of the Colonel's "private" life.

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The men were eating their lunches when the television screen in the corner flipped on, the footage on it direct from the Colonel's office.

What they saw was simply a pervert's most beloved dream.

The Colonel was having random sex with an unknown woman.

Sadly, they could not see the woman's face at all.

Still, when everyone heard the Fuhrer call out Roy's name in a very authorative tone, they knew that Roy was dead.

When Roy came back after lunch from his little "chat" with the Fuhrer, he looked shaken, as if he didn't want to see another woman again.

"So, NOW do you think he's done?" Jean asked Riza.

"No, but he's almost broken...almost. Havoc, I think its time we unleash THAT plan..." she spoke.

For you see, the Havoc-Heli was not done wreaking havoc on Roy's life. Little did he know, Roy was not even half way through hell yet...


End file.
